I started reading a book this week, The Power of Moments, by Dan and Chip Heath. I was shocked at how closely it aligns with my Peak Experience Framework. It’s so close, that the authors use similar language, often referring to these defining moments as “Peaks”.

When they write that “Defining moments give shape to time,” they’re touching on something profound about the human experience. And this is exactly why I’ve latched onto the idea so strongly. When I think about my life, it’s always been very important to me to live a life full of meaning.

This stretches back to when I was a nineteen year old missionary in the U.K. watching Dead Poets Society for the first time, feeling alive while listening to Robin Williams’ character encourage his students to “Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”

At the time, too much of my life was scripted for me—when I would wake up, how I would spend my hours, what I was to find important. All of it. And I hated it. Every single second of it.

None of what I was expected to do was important to me at all.

How to best use time became a focus to me as a very young man. And it’s been with me ever since. It wasn’t until I had such a profound experience hunting Dall sheep that the idea of Peak Experience design started to take shape.

The Heath brothers write more about peaks, and what makes them peak experiences. And it’s perfect. It’s much better than Maslow’s idea of Peak Experiences which could be anything in which you find yourself in a flow state. I like Maslow’s terminology, but find his idea of a Peak Experience somewhat lacking.

A defining moment, or rather, a peak experience, is what you would risk running back into a burning house to save. They’re signified by the mementos we keep, the photo albums, deer heads, and the artwork you saved from when your kids were little. You photo albums aren’t full of pictures from random tuesdays at baseball practice, but rather with those moments that rise above the everyday experience of life: graduations, achievements, social connections, important experiences and revelations. These are the peaks. These are the waypoints that will help us navigate our experience of life as we look back on it when we’re old.

The Power of Moments identifies four key characteristics of peak experiences, and each one resonates deeply with our framework for understanding these transformative moments:

First, peak experiences elevate us above the ordinary. They break the script of daily life, creating contrast between the mundane and the memorable. Whether it’s standing over your first ram in the Brooks Range, or receiving unexpected recognition at work, these moments pierce through the fog of routine.

Second, these moments fundamentally shift our understanding. Like the first time you travel abroad and realize how vast and varied the world truly is, peak experiences reframe our perspective. They don’t just add to our knowledge – they reorganize it entirely. How sad is it to see those travelers who fail to experience another culture, but rather travel to another country where they’ve imported ours… to the resorts and tourist traps laid out to ensnare us. What a missed opportunity. The best travel experience I ever had was spending a month with locals in La Paz, Baja Sur. I learned more Spanish in that one month than I had in 4 semesters of Spanish classes in college.

Third, peaks capture us at our finest hours. They’re the moments when we summon our courage, push beyond our limits, or achieve something we once thought impossible. These are the stories we tell about ourselves, the moments that define who we are and who we can become.

Finally, peak experiences strengthen our bonds with others. They’re often shared moments – celebrations, challenges overcome together, deep conversations that stretch into the early hours. Even solitary peaks often drive us to connect, to share our revelations or achievements with those closest to us.

These characteristics explain why peak experiences aren’t just pleasant memories – they’re the building blocks of our life’s story.

Time is the currency of life.

In the Peak Experience framework, we’re acknowledging that how we spend our moments determines the richness of our experience. The photos we take, the stories we tell, the moments we revisit in our minds – these aren’t random. They’re the peaks that give our timeline its topography.

What I love about the Power of Moments, is its deep dive into what creates a peak enables us to design more of them.

In my New Years’ post, I challenged you to plan six mini peak experiences throughout the year – one every two months. Today, I want to build on that idea with an even more specific challenge.

Here’s what I’m proposing: Create an unexpected peak moment to share with your wife, or significant other – a surprise that breaks through his or her routine and creates that elevation above the everyday that we’ve been discussing. This isn’t about grand gestures or elaborate plans. Instead, it’s about crafting a small moment that stands apart from the usual rhythm of life.

The beauty of this challenge lies in its simplicity. It could be as straightforward as:

• Planning a surprise overnight trip to a nearby town, just the two of you
• Arranging an unexpected afternoon off work for a midweek adventure
• Creating a mysterious scavenger hunt that leads to a meaningful location
• Setting up a private sunset picnic in an unexpected location
• Recreating your first date, but with an unexpected twist

The key is the element of surprise. Remember what the Heath brothers emphasized – these moments need to rise above the everyday experience. When you’re planning this mini peak experience, think about how it will break the script of your partner’s normal routine.

We have to break the monotony of life. For us, and for those who we lead. Do this consistently, and your relationship with your partner is going to be dramatically improved.

What makes this challenge particularly powerful is that it combines several elements of peak experiences we discussed earlier. It strengthens social connections, rises above the everyday, and often creates those defining moments that give shape to time.

Plus, it’s not just about the person receiving the surprise – planning and executing these moments can be equally meaningful for the giver.

So here’s your challenge: In the next month, create one surprise mini peak experience for your significant other. Something unexpected that breaks through the monotony of routine. When you do, you’re not just creating a pleasant memory – you’re actively shaping the landscape of your shared time together.

Remember, these are the moments that end up in photo albums. These are the stories you’ll tell later. These are the peaks that will define your journey together.

Will you take the challenge?